Thursday, April 14, 2005

Instant Punch List

Perhaps it was the reference to Clubber Lang below, or the one to Paris Hilton, or perhaps it was a combination of both, but I got to thinking about what Otter and I call the "Instant Punch List."

The instant punch list is the list of people who you would, upon seeing them, just walk up to and punch them in the mouth. No time for greetings, no screaming or threatening, nothing like that. Rather, when they reach out to shake your hand, you just drill them in the jaw with everything you have.

Below is my top 5 Hollywood/Celebrity punch list:

1. Alec Baldwin - the guy just seems like a jackass. He's clearly a know it all and I'm still waiting for him to move out of the country like he promised when Bush was elected.

2. The lead singer from Creed - I don't even remotely care to look up his name. I know what he looks like and I know that if I see him - bang.

3. Renee Zellweger - I just can't stand her beady eyes and annoying voice. It's nothing personal really, it's just that all her movies annoy me. The same is true of people who like her movies. (As an aside, I forgot to include Nicole Kidman in the Hollywood-beauties-who-are-not-actually-hot. She may have been hot 12 facelifts ago, but now, she is too pasty white, her red hair is fake, and her over-hyped red-carpet crap is starting to piss me off).

4. Fred Durst - I couldn't get away from his crappy music for two years, and when his music finally earned the widespread derision it deserved, I still see him or his name about once a week.

5. Ashton Kuchar - He's a new entry. I'm just tired of his shtick. He isn't funny, Punk'd is annoying, and he's over-exposed. I wonder what he's going to do when That 70's Show finally ends. Maybe he'll make another movie where he plays a dumb guy.

Put your lists in the comments.

Kid Handsome


Blogger The Management said...

It should be noted that we fully expect to go to jail for hitting someone on the instant punch list. It's not saying that it's a good thing, or a right thing... It's just something that needs to be done.

One day while watching the news and hearing Kerry say something so so very stupid I thought it would be worth going to jail to break his jaw. Instant Punch list born.

My Instant Punch List doen't really have people that just annoy me, i really have to hate them and feel they are screwing up the country. Ted Kennedy and his ilk.


3:13 PM  
Blogger The Management said...

Hehe, of coarse by posting this KH, you kind of stole the thunder from my "Liberals throwing food because they are now intellectually bankrupt" post I was going to do.


BTW the comment above is mine too!

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paris Hilton - so skinny one punch should kill her, take out her sister if they are together.

The Olson twins - why are they always hanging onto each other? Only have to punch one and the other one should fall down w/o the support.

Ashton Kutcher - no reason is needed.

Liberal celebrities who were at the Democrat convention - I don't care about your view points and the fact that you have a pulpit from which to speak and I don't makes me hate you even more. Line up for a NRA style beating, put Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon first.

Crocodile Hunter - Just once I want to see the croc win. The Mick Dundee thing is played out.

Andy Dick - Another one whose career baffles me. Someone Bobbit this Dick.

4:16 PM  
Blogger The Management said...

Otter actually created this list for Jon Stewart. Don't let him fool you with his Kerry rap.

Also, there are certain channels that I just cannot watch if Otter is around. Sometimes I change the channels based on nothing other than the expression on his face.

Happiness on television makes him bitter. I might see if I can create a sidebar link to a running punch list. I forgot Michael Stipe. Also, you would see how "political" Otter's list is.


5:34 PM  

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