The Ultimate Scarecrow

Otter's favorite commercial is the one where some guy designs a scarecrow that shoots flames, chases deer, foxes, and, ultimately, hippies. The above link is to a design that is well on it's way to eradicating the plague of hippies assaulting open fields every where.

This reminds me of a favorite joke. Where do you hide things from hippies?




Under the soap! ('cause they're dirty).

Kid Handsome

Piano Juggler

If this is for real, this is amazing.

I can't decide...

...if this is cool or not. Sure sounds convenient to open bottles of beer from your gut, but one wrong move and you could impale yourself with your favorite beverage.

Common Sense Obit

Got an interesting forward today and thought it was appropriate to share in this forum. No idea who wrote it:

The Sad Passing of Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him pass this on. If not join the majority and do nothing.

Welcome to Otter's House

Even for Otter, 70,000 beers is sure a challenge.

Feral Children

I don't know why I've lately been interested in anything I hear about feral humans. I think it has to do with listening to late-night radio freak Art Bell on and off for several years. I laugh every time I hear about feral humans because I thought it was hilarious to hear how serious he was about tales of people living wild in the mountains (as well as Bigfoot and Aliens and all sorts of other crazy stuff).

Did anybody else ever hear of Art Bell? I know I could check him out on Wikipedia, which I'll do.

Kid

Prosecutorial Abuse

Below are selected excerpts from the linked article:

The Norton Middle School student is being held indefinitely in an isolated area of the Summit County Jail on the orders of Common Pleas Judge James Murphy.

The teen, jailed since Wednesday, insists she is not a sex abuse victim and is demanding a lawyer be assigned to represent her, court records show.

However, jail officials said Monday she cannot speak with anyone without permission from county prosecutors.

Prosecutors say the teen is a material witness and is being held in jail for her own protection.
But lawyers for defendant Galo Sanchez-Pesantes contend the state -- with approval from the girl's mother-- has ``effectively kidnapped'' the teen, holding her in an adult jail while denying her access to an attorney in an effort to force her testimony.

Defense attorneys Alex Folk and Karen Brouse have asked Murphy to dismiss the case against Sanchez-Pesantes.

Jail officials declined a request by the Beacon Journal to interview the girl by phone, saying no one can speak to her without permission from prosecutors. Chief Prosecutor Mary Ann Kovach said she would not permit the girl to be interviewed.

After she failed to appear in court last week, Murphy attempted to place the girl in the county's Juvenile Detention Center. But Judge Linda Tucci Teodosio blocked the move, saying she could not legally hold the girl. In court papers, Teodosio cited a federal law barring juveniles who are not accused of a crime from being placed in detention. Murphy then had the girl taken to the county jail on Wednesday.

Teodosio was unavailable for comment.

Brouse said she met briefly with the girl on Friday until a deputy ordered her to leave the jail. Before Brouse left, the girl wrote a note asking Murphy to assign her an attorney. The note was filed with the court by Brouse on Friday, but no action has been taken.

``It's better for her to be confined,'' Kovach said. [My note: Sure it is. The worlds worst abuses almost always start with some variation of "it's for your own good."]

``I'm puzzled that prosecutors want to go forward with this when they have a witness saying she didn't have sex with this man. It seems to me they're holding her to coerce her testimony. Frankly, I think she's being illegally held.'' [Why is this puzzling? Because prosecutors are concerned about "JUSTICE"? Sure . . . ]

Kid Handsome

Link stolen from To the People.

13 Years of College

Ahhhh...those college memories. You can get lost quickly in this page, especially this guy's blog.

INSOBOTS

Scientists are working on a robot that can take over a cockroach colony and, well, I don't know, maybe invade your hated enemies homes. Check the link, it's really cool.

Kid

Prison Break and 24 Delayed by 20 Minutes?!! No!!!

Man, I'm already having problems staying up for the best night of TV...but now the Prez has chosen Monday night to pitch his solution to immigration reform. Now I'm all about reforming immigration, but can't you pick a night where TV is just about dead? I mean, Friday night is wide open for a Presidential Address...maybe even Sunday evening. But Monday night to knock out two badass shows (Prison Break and 24)...come on!

But then again, it's only a delay of 20 minutes, so I guess that's some time to set aside and make an ice cream sundae...mmm...ice cream.

You're Killing Me Arnie

Damn you Arnie. What the hell are you talking about? Putting armed soldiers on the border is absolutely the way to go to put finally put some meat behind our outgunned border patrols. And to make the argument that these soldiers just came back from a tour of duty in Iraq is both misleading and couldn't be further from the truth. You'd be surprised how many soldiers are not actively deployed in Iraq and could be easily deployed to our borders. Not to mention that soldiers should be fighting wars and not sitting behind desks...but that's a story for another day.

Volcano Stories are Just Cool

So what if Indonesia is about to be blown off the map with the fire and brimstone from this explosive mountain...this is just too cool. I mean imagine waking up and saying "I can clearly see the lava forming at the top of that mountain." Hmmm...I think THAT would be my queue to maybe go someplace else...but that's just me.

Getting Freaky

This NSA wire-tapping business is sure making me nervous. I was all ok with wire-tapping for calls that might have some roots in potential terrorist activity, namely if a call takes place between here and another "hostile" country, but this latest piece from USA Today just freaks me out.

It looks like the NSA has been busy monitoring domestic communications "using" our friendly telecommunications companies, specifically ATT, Verizon, and BellSouth. The only company to refuse with NSA's "demands" is Qwest, who is concerned with the potential legal and privacy matters that might affect their customers.

Granted, the companies are turning over origination and end phone numbers, but do we really want NSA to have a database this information on potential innocent individuals? We need some checks here people, and big kudos out to Qwest for sticking it to the man.

Seriously though...

Kennedys with cars are sooOOOooo much more dangerous than I am with a firearm.

There aught to be a law...

Otter

Iron Shiek Loses It.

The above link is probably only funny to males over the age of 25 and younger than, say 45. Anyway, if anyone remembers the Iron Shiek of "Camel Clutch" fame. Here is a video of him on a Boston Wrestling show "calmly (yet totally) losing his shit . . . " I stole the link and that quote from "To the People."

Kid Handsome

NOTE: This link is probably not safe for work due to language.

Congressional Pig Book

Heard about this book by Citizens Against Government Waste (CAGW) on FoxNews this morning. Every American should look through this book to see how both Republicans and Democrats are spending your tax dollars.

But if you prefer the short version, check out this exerpt:

"The 2006 Congressional Pig Book is the latest installment of Citizens Against Government Waste’s (CAGW) 16-year exposé of pork-barrel spending. This year’s list includes: $13,500,000 for the International Fund for Ireland, which helped finance the World Toilet Summit; $6,435,000 for wood utilization research; $1,000,000 for the Waterfree Urinal Conservation Initiative; and $500,000 for the Sparta Teapot Museum in Sparta, N.C."

Ah yes, nothing like spending money that isn't your's. Perhaps Congress should start dipping into their own personal pockets to fund these projects. I bet they would be just a tad more careful then...

America Takes Off Gloves, Puts on Brass Knuckles

It's about time! Call me a Nazi enough times, I might just become one.

Otter

Academic Rationale Behind Gas Prices

Baltimore Sun Q&A on gas prices featuring a macroecon prof from a stellar college in Westminster, MD. Check out this quote:

"Here is an interesting bit of trivia for history buffs: When adjusted for
inflation, average gas prices were higher in the early 20th century than they
were during the 1970s and 1980s, periods that most of us associate with
expensive gas. Gas prices in the roaring 1920s, for example, averaged more than
$2.50 in current dollars and averaged more than $2 a gallon even during the
deflationary years of the Great Depression. Indeed, it was not until the 1960s
that gas prices were consistently observed below $2 a gallon in current terms."

The Greatest Flash Music Video EVER.

Seriously, don't be a dumb ass. Watch this video.

Otter

Mr. President - I'm Headed to Mexico

Great post from David M. Bresnahan...you just have to read it, well because there's nothing that I can say to top this.

The Left's Recipie for War

We must rise to stop the evil madness happening in Sudan's Darfur region! There is a crazy militant group in power and they are committing acts of genocide everywhere! The U.S. cannot tolerate this behavior - we MUST intervene!

Striking simularity to our current efforts in Iraq, where the Baathist Party previously committed acts of genocide against the Kurish and Shi'a Iraqis.

Hmmm...guess war is ok when a celeb like George Clooney is available to speak.